[nh] #15 — The Fear of Missing Out

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author

turndog

this edition of the [no hustle] huddle went out on Mon 25th September 2023

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an innate fear of missing out.

I never saw it as FOMO per se… instead, I’d term it as “what if”.

But it’s basically the same; comes from the same place.

A worry of reaching old age, looking back, and wondering to myself, “what if I had done this? what about that? what life could I have lived? who could I have been?”

Looking back on a life of past tense.

And so, I would push myself and challenge my self and always want to be more; forever striving to be “enough”.

It led me to write my first novel, one that centered around this notion of what if.

It led me to leave my job and write more books, and it continues, to this day, to push me forward. Some of it comes from within, an internal drive for growth and to keep learning. Yet some of it—far too much of it—is fueled by FOMO.

I sense I’m not alone 😔

In fact, I sense it’s *this* that fuels so much of Hustle Culture and our ridiculous relationship with comparison; how we each day compare US vs. THEM.

Them, being those micro-interactions online we have with seemingly everyone.

We worry they have it figured out. We worry they are happy whereas we are not. We worry they have more or have access to some sort of secret. And we worry that we will miss out, so we push ourselves to be better; to be “more”.

🤔 yet does it have to be this way?

🤔 and if not, what does the alternative look like?

It’s these questions that inspired me as I sat down to figure out this month’s [no hustle] videos and articles. They all center around the idea of FOMO and Comparison Culture.

And as I’ve ventured down a rabbit hole or two, there’s a particular term I’ve found that has me thinking in a brand new way.

I share it below 👇👇 

But before we get to it, here’s some content you may enjoy…

from the [no hustle] community

The Power of Questionsmy hope, after reading today’s edition of the huddle, is that it inspires you to step and think … as you do, these questions will help.

5 Questions You NEED To Ask (part 1)and if you prefer your questions in video form, you’re in luck because this is part one of a five-part series 👍

3 actions to take this week

🔖 bookmark this → when we think of an operating system, we immediately picture a computer … yet we, as humans, are computers in our own right; and if we want to grow and evolve, we must turn inward — this thought-provoking article from Ryan Gottfredson offers some serious food for thought.

📺 watch this → Leon Hendrix is a real, raw, and rare content creator, and this video certainly struck a chord as it’s our addiction to stimulation that fuels so many of our issues — especially those centered around FOMO!

💪 DO THISMake a List of Things You Fear Missing Out On — whether you come up with two items or twenty, spend some time reflecting on each one and asking yourself, “do I really want the “thing”? If I did get it, would it satisfy me?”

this week’s featured book

How To Lead a Disciplined Life by Damon Zahariades — When it comes to productivity, Damon Zahariades is a guy to listen to; and he has a new book that not only guides you toward a more productive life but one of meaningful discipline.

I’ve had the pleasure of peeking at an advanced copy and it’s a book you may like to grab and add to your shelf 📖

🎙️ pass the mic

One of the first podcasts I came across way back in the day (and one of the first podcasters I connected with) was Jaime Masters of Eventual Millionaire fame.

To this day, she continues to bring great guests who share great stories to the forefront. If you’re after some inspiration (especially from a business perspective), look no further—I can highly recommend her latest chat with Dorie Clark.

🎤 drop the mic

FOMO … its wicked fingers wrap around our necks on the daily.

We know we should run our own race.

We know we should focus on our own reality.

We know we should show gratitude for what we have.

Yet we also fear if we miss out on this and that, that it’s “this and that” that may hold the all-encompassing answer we crave. Intellectually, we know that is silly. 

Yet we don’t live in an intellectual state most of the time.

Most of the time, we’re emotionally driven bags of meat 🤮

But it’s okay because that’s where the term I mentioned earlier comes in 👇👇

JOMO

The Joy of Missing Out.

Here’s the reality you and I live in … this world is insane; utterly intense.

OVERWHELMING!

We could be anything. We could do anything. And on the surface, that sounds amazing. Yet when you peel a few layers, you realize it’s not.

It’s less of an opportunity and more of a hindrance 😠

Because you and me, we’re handcuffed by time. We live finite lives. As such, we can only do so much. So all the choices & potential this and that … it doesn’t serve us.

It’s great, to an extent; and we should love the period of time we exist in because we are able to do certain things no other human in history could. Yet if we lose ourselves in the potential of what could be … we never enjoy who we are.

And all any of us will ever be is who we are.

Living this one, single, fragile life that we live ❤️

So there’s JOY in missing out. There is joy to be had in not doing a thing.

Beyond joy, there is real freedom; the kind we all strive for in some way.

Because we are human. We are limited in our resources and we are limited in our energy. And I know all this is easier said than done and I know I will continue to worry about “what if” and fear I may somehow miss out unless I do this or that.

But I’m going to try my hardest to let go of it and breathe deep each time a pang of fear rumbles within simply because I see someone do a “thing”.

All I can do is run my race and do it to the best of my ability.

All I can do is make the best decisions I can and fully commit to my ONE life.

It’s all you can do, too 🫵

And although you could live an infinite number of lives, you won’t and you can’t. You just get this one, and the more time you spend fearing the unknown, the less you have to embrace the known.

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s edition of the huddle. I’d love to hear your thoughts on FOMO, so hit reply and share what’s on your mind 👇👇

And if you know someone who needs to read this, forward it to them 🙌

Thanks for reading, and thank you for being YOU.

 

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