[nh] #14 — NARCISSISM … all bad, or not so fast?





this edition of the [no hustle] huddle went out on Mon 18th September 2023

Considering I’m part of a loving relationship, much of my life comes down to compromise. For instance, I like SPORT. I like to watch it and, because I follow multiple teams, a decent chunk of my time is spent in front of the screen.

My loving partner in life, Vee… well, she’s indifferent to the whole thing.

But she loves and is happy for me to lose myself in IT, and at times she even watches alongside me. But of course, there’s a compromise, and when it comes to TV, the payback comes in the form of those dreaded dating shows.

Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, that sort of thing…

I hate them. But what I hate more is how I get into them ?

But that isn’t what this email is about 

No, this email is about what I too often see on these shows: NARCISSISTS

Now, it’s important to state I’m no psychologist, so I have zero credentials to label anyone a narcissist. But I know enough about them (and have experienced them enough in my life) to recognize the signs.

And boy oh boy, do these specific sorts of people SUCK!

They’re the worst!

I truly believe the world would actually be a tolerable place without them. But because they are the way they are and these sorts of folk are more likely to push their way to the top, much of our society is powered by them.

and it’s a big reason why hustle culture is so populous ?

Because narcissists don’t care about you. They don’t care about the world. All they care about is getting what they desire. And this usually centers around POWER.

So of course they’re willing to work harder and grind the gears and push and pull and plunder their way to the top. When most people stop and wonder if doing a thing is actually “right”, they’re already way down the road.

Chuckling away as they pass you by.

And it serves their agenda that you too feel like you have to work harder… grind the gears further… push and pull and plunder your own way down the road. By getting you in this frame of mind, they can use you; hell, they often own you.

and we’re all at their mercy.

BUT … and this is important and has come as a surprise to me.

Maybe NARCISSISM isn’t all that bad ?

In fact, maybe we all need to embrace our inner narcissist from time to time. Strange I know, and trust me when I say I’m shocked at myself for writing this. 

But I recently watched something that made me think ?

And you need to watch it too because this subtle idea could change your life ??

from the [no hustle] community

Overcoming Parental Burnout in the Age of Hustle Culture —  Before we get to the video that made me THINK, let’s shine a light on an article I’m particularly proud of because being a parent is hard and it’s harder than ever in this world of narcissistic hustle porn … but that’s okay because you are doing more than OKAY!

Redefining Success: is Your Definition of Success Outdated?When you’ve had your eyes opened, come back to this video because making sure you’re focused and honed in on your version of success is growing more important than ever.

3 actions to take this week

? bookmark this → If you want to better understand what narcissism is and how it works, I highly recommend this article from Mark Manson—unsurprisingly, he unpacks this extremely triggering topic in a humorous and subtly-deep manner.

? watch this → This is the video that made me THINK and I’ll be honest, it slapped me across the face and left me feeling a little numb—not what I was expecting from a 2-minute video.

? DO THISUse The Above ☝️☝️Video as a Journal Prompt — spend a little time thinking about your perceptions toward narcissism and your own personal experiences; critically question these perceptions and think about your own narcissist traits that are woven beneath your surface.

this week’s featured book

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand — I began to listen to this book during my first marathon, so have a strange relationship with it. At first, I didn’t like it; too slow and wayward for my liking. Yet after a while, it really captured my being.

and has become one of those books that have lingered in my mind ?

A masterpiece full of complex characters, and, if we’re being frank, a truly repugnant cast of a-holes… it’s a great way to peek into the world of narcissists.

?️ pass the mic

Now let me be clear, I’m not introducing you to Jordan Harbinger because he’s a narcissist. Just need to get that disclaimer out of the way ?

But I do feel compelled to share this fine fellow with you because he is, simply put, one of the best podcasters around (and has been for a long time). Personally, I love the eclectic nature of his guests. He offers some wonderful rabbit holes to venture down, so step into his world and see where it takes you ?

? drop the mic

“Everybody needs to be adored and will suffer immensely if they are not” … this line at the end of the video got me.

It’s true. We all need adoration and we have all spent our lives craving it in our own way. We experienced what we experienced, and it resulted in us building walls, insecurities, inadequacies, and so much more.

and it’s nobody’s fault; not really.

Others impacted us and much of that isn’t fair. But in most cases, it wasn’t because they wanted to cause long-lasting damage. They were just doing what they did and were navigating their own broken world.

Now don’t get me wrong, narcissists are still the worst!

But the layers to this onion are much more nuanced than most of us can fathom. I guess I already knew this, but it took a short animated video to help me SEE it ?

See it in the sense that I have a new sense of empathy toward narcissists.

But also see how we all have narcissistic traits and that we indeed NEED these seemingly negative traits because without them, how can we possibly love ourselves… appreciate ourselves… or even trust ourselves?

This is where the link to Hustle Culture comes in because many of us get caught in the grind because we don’t feel worthy enough when compared to others.

We see them as more successful, more talented, have a greater work ethic, etc.

So, we buckle down and push ourselves harder, which sends us deeper into The Hustle, surrounded ever more by those GRANDIOSE NARCISSISTS (as Mark Manson wrote about) who push and pull and plunder with such ease.

Around and around we go… forever? 

I certainly hope that isn’t so.

But for many, it is ?

So use today as a chance to draw a line in the sand; to question your relationship with “narcissism” and, more importantly, whether you’re narcissistic enough.

Because you deserve love and validation. You need it!

From others, sure, but mostly from yourself ❤️

I can’t imagine this solves all problems, but it’s surely a massive step in the right direction — and dare I say, a huge leap out and away from hustle culture.

Thanks for reading today, I hope you’ve enjoyed it. If you have, hit reply and share a few words with me (or click the little emoji thingy in the byline). And if you know someone who needs to read this, forward it to them.

and encourage them to subscribe ?

Thanks again, my friend, and thank you for being YOU (you’re enough!)


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