As I look back on my life, I realize I’ve forever struggled with sleep and mental health — although it’s only come to light in recent years.

I *knew* sleep was important.

I *knew* mental health played a fundamental role in life as we know it.

Yet I figured I was fine. That I was doing okay. That I could catch up on sleep once I ticked a few more boxes … and mental health, well that would be fine, too.

I’d get to it one day and take better care of myself.

But in the here and now, there’s work to do; gears to grind.

I’m reminded of the line from Gillian Welch’s powerful tune, Look at Miss Ohio:

I WANNA DO RIGHT BUT NOT RIGHT NOW

That sums up my twenties (and most of my thirties). I figured I had time. I assumed there would come a time when I would have more of it. I’d be ready to do “right”, as Welch pipes. I would be ready to finally look after myself.

Yet one year became two … a decade transitioned into another.

Even these last few years when I have woken up to the fact, the months and years have blended into blurred periods where it’s difficult to keep up. It just passes you by so quickly. One day it’s Monday, then the weekend once more.

January, and then, out of nowhere, October.

And look, it isn’t that sleep heals all — and as important as both sleep and mental health are, it isn’t as easy to drop everything and focus only on yourself.

You have responsibilities.

Maybe you have a family.

Maybe you are the one everyone else seems to rely upon.

At the very least, you have a life to live and it’s overwhelming.

Because this life—this world—is overwhelming.

Fast-paced. Unrelenting. Connecting you to everyone and everything. It leads you to compare yourself to others, and the feedback you receive is always the same.

MUST DO BETTER; MUST TRY HARDER!

And so sleep and mental health become an afterthought. You wanna do right but not right now because right now isn’t the right time; you simply don’t have enough of it … nor the energy or security or self-imposed permission to do so.

It’s a battle I’m in each day and if you’re still reading this I imagine it is one you are in, too. So know this … you are not alone. This world doesn’t set you up for success in that regard. If anything, it wants to keep you so busy that you don’t even get the time to feel what you feel.

It wants you to exist … to survive and be at the mercy of the ticking clock.

Clocking in and out each day, so Monday blurs into Sunday.

But you cannot allow this and there are (simple) steps you can take. Although before we get to those, we must first do a little learning so we can appreciate that now is the right time to do right … in fact, it’s the only time.

the science behind sleep and mental health

This article isn’t about the science.

There are far better ones to read if you’re looking to dive deep.

Still, it’s important to lay the foundations if what’s to come is to make sense.

So here are some of the essential basics you need to know…

sleep cycles and you

There are four stages to sleep:

1. Awake
2. Light Sleep
3. Deep Sleep
4. REM Sleep

The first phase is when you’re Awake (obviously), yet this doesn’t only happen before you drift off each night. Several times throughout your sleep, you’ll stir. Sometimes this leads you to get up (to the bathroom), other times you’ll roll over.

The next phase, Light Sleep, is where you spend most of your time—usually around 50%. There’s nothing light about it though, as this is the period you codify memories and cater to your creativity.

Next comes Deep Sleep, which is too often fleeting and that’s a problem because this is the phase where your body repairs itself — physically and mentally.

Finally comes REM Sleep (rapid eye movement), the phase where you dream and improve your learning by connecting the dots from the previous day.

Throughout the night, you cycle in and out of these phases; all four important and playing an essential role in your growth, prosperity, and bid to keep your sanity. 

sleep and mental health

But what does all this have to do with your mental health?

Everything!

Because we use the term mental health in a far too broad manner.

I mean, what even is mental health?

In the same way there are many pieces to your physical health’s puzzle, there are nuances layered within nuances when it comes to your mind and emotions.

You’re aware of some of it.

But most of it resides beneath the surface, besties with your subconscious.

For this reason—and many others—sleep plays a pivotal role. Each phase of the cycle aids your growth, development, and restoration differently. Where light sleep codifies memories, REM sleep connects the dots so you can learn, form patterns, better solve problems, and learn from the lessons placed in front of you.

Different hormones are released at different times, each playing a role in your growth and development. Everything happens for a reason, a carefully orchestrated dance perfected over millennia.

and for millennia, all this happened without too much fuss or interference.

Life was simple. You woke up. You gathered food. You survived. You rinsed and repeated until the day you died. But that isn’t our existence today.

Today, we live more in tomorrow than we do in the present.

We cling to the past, comparing good memories against current struggles.

We’re overwhelmed with messages, content, options, and people.

Too much stimulation. Too much bright light and shiny objects. 

Not enough sunlight or time spent outside…

This impacts our circadian rhythm, placing greater stress on our sleep habits and routines. And so we struggle to drift off, turning to TV and phones that blast us with blue light that only deepens the problem.

And because we’re so consumed by society at large, we never truly “switch off”.

So as the days become weeks become most of your life … your relationship with sleep becomes utterly toxic to the point where you don’t even notice.

You wake up each morning groggy and tired, but think nothing of it because when was the last time you didn’t feel this way?

sleep and mental health and your relationship with both

Sleep matters. Your mental health matters. Sleep and mental health matters.

In short… YOU matter!

Life is what it is. We can control some of it, but most of it remains outside of our influence. It happens and does its thing, and we’re here to enjoy the ride.

Yet it isn’t just about us … other people play huge roles in your world.

Obvious members like kids and partners, but colleagues and bosses and random strangers who can affect your day at a moment’s notice.

And because this world is so fast-paced and abundant, we WILL get caught up in the hustle and grind, and we WILL compare our lives with others.

All this, and so much more, impacts your sleep and mental health.

You cannot avoid it. There is no cure. The only thing we can do is be conscious of the fact. Awanress on its own only goes so far, of course. Action must follow.

But until you step back and accept how toxic your relationship with sleep is, no actions you take will have much of a difference. At best, you fill in a few cracks.

That’s why this article exists…

Not to provide you with actions and answers. There are far better ones that dive into the science and break down how to hack this and that.

Many of them are great; fascinating. 

Yet most of them will only add to the chaos, which defeats the purpose. Because if the purpose is to sleep better, then adding more to your life is not great.

You need actions, but not right now.

First, you need to get to know you and your relationship with sleep.

Your relationship with sleep and mental health … 

your sleep, and your mental health.

For that, you need to step back… retreat within … slow it down … simplify as much as you can … let go of expectations, and question what success means to YOU.

Doing so won’t improve nor optimize your sleep.

But it will guide you toward asking the right questions.

And once you start asking the right questions, you can seek the right answers.

The Right Actions.

I sense this is why many of us “wanna do right but not right now” … we want to be better; to feel better; to live better. But we’re tired. We are stuck.

So we push such growth and development into the future.

We will get to it when we have more time. But there is no more time in the future; not any more than what you have today. Because this world is cray, and all you’ll do is replace your present stresses with some other versions and variations.

Rinse and repeat until there’s no more time left.

So today is the day. Now is the time. Do right and do it right now!

Your sleep will thank you, and your mental health with it; everything will, including those around you who love you; who care for you; who see you.

hi, i’m turndog and I wrote this article … i am a writer, ghostwriter, anti-hustler & a guy on a mission to ensure you too escape the hustle — come be part of the [no hustle] movement

hi, i’m turndog and I wrote this article … i am a writer, ghostwriter, anti-hustler & a guy on a mission to ensure you too escape the hustle — come be part of the [no hustle] movement