I ended the call … my insides ached, a cocktail of chemicals attacking me.

I’d lost a client. My main client. The one that brought in the most money. That alone was bad, but after the month I’d had… I was done.

I wanted to quit. Roll over. Surrender. My mind spiraled… 

you’re a failure; you are not worthy; you are not enough.

You never will be!

Previously on the [no hustle] … We dove deep into The Seven Stages of Failure and looked at the first two: Shock and Pain.

If you missed it, click the big button above 👆👆

If not, stay here because the way this article began … how it gave you a peek into one of my own failures and hardships … it touched you in some way, I’m sure. 

You are human, after all; empathy likely rose to the surface… made sure you FELT.

Maybe it stirred a memory … 

maybe you could relate… 

maybe you can relate! 

Not from some past event but because that’s where you are right now.

It’s okay … as we ended the last article/video, Pain is Part of The Process.

You cannot control the emotion, but you can control (to an extent) what happens next … that’s the focus of today’s video as we venture into stage three and beyond. 

But it ain’t plain sailing, let me tell ya

stage three: BARGAINING

Welcome to Stage Three … BARGAINING

This is the point where you start to deal with all the pain and other emotions.

The problem is that we don’t tend to do a very good job of processing it.

In bargaining, we often turn to BLAME.

Sometimes we blame ourselves. Other times, we blame someone else. We point the finger. We twist pain into frustration, anger, and spite.

or maybe you bury your head in the sand.

This was my go-to solution for most of my life. PAIN… nope, don’t want that. I’ll just suppress it and crack on. Pretend there isn’t an issue. 

Make myself busy … so busy I can’t think.

This is bargaining, my friend … be it with yourself or the devil.

There’s no solution here. No meaningful action. The less time you spend here the better because it’s a place of “holding” … it is purgatory.

You’re clear on nothing, other than the fact you don’t want to feel the pain anymore. And whether you cater to this by keeping yourself busy and grinding the gears, or you bury your head under the sheets and refuse to come out … 

… or if you get angry and hate the world (or yourself)

WELL, the impact is the same: nothingness.

Nothing happens here.

And the longer you spend HERE, the worse the next step gets…

stage four: DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION … that’s Stage Four.

In the book, I talk about this feeling like you’re in a Pressure Cooker.

Everything that comes before you in the first three stages builds up. It may last days, weeks, months, or longer… and as it builds, that pressure within gets intense.

This is the point where it erupts.

The after effect… well, that depends on you and the situation.

Depression doesn’t always center around unhappiness and tears.

Sometimes, it’s apathy, lethargy, utter disdain at the world.

You may FEEL seemingly everything in this stage, or barely anything at all.

Depression takes on many forms, and like most things in life it isn’t binary; it is a spectrum where you can flip here and there … from mild to severe.

And look, I don’t wish to place a positive light on this stage because as someone who has suffered from depression, I don’t say the word lightly or undervalue it.

But while interviewing those 150+ people for The Successful Mistake, I learned it’s often this stage (a state of Depression, in some guise) that ignites growth.

This is your rock bottom in the journey.

Whether it represents “the” rock bottom in your life depends on the failure.

But in this journey, this is the point where the only direction is up.

• It’s when you LET GO.
• Ask Big, Important Questions.
• Quit bargaining and accept the situation.
• Turn to people you can trust and let them in.

Turn to yourself and retreat within…

stage five: THE TIPPING POINT

This whole journey — the seven stages of failure — it’s like there are two doors and a hallway in between. In the first few stages, you’re behind door number one; the previous chapter in life; the period that will soon be past tense.

At some point, you open the door … but only just; a mere crack.

While you’re in Depression, you just stand there in front of the door, not ready to step through into the hallway. But here in Stage Five — The Tipping Point — you step through and take a seat in this hall to catch your breath and figure IT out.

This Tipping Point can take on a few forms…

• A lightbulb moment, maybe; an “ah-ha”.
• Or red car syndrome as you start to notice several little signs.
• A conversation with the right person at the right time.
• The right book, video, podcast, or article at the “right” time.

It’s when the clouds part and you can start to see a hint of a solution.

There is no solution, of course, in the hallway. But there is another doorway, and behind door number two lies the next chapter of your life.

stages six and seven (and what happens next) …

In the third and final video of this series, we open and step through it.

If you reading this in the future, you can read it now (and watch the accompanying video) by clicking the big button below 👇👇

(if it isn’t live yet, sign up to the huddle and we’ll notify you as soon as it is)

But before you move on, take a moment to reflect on what YOU have just read … ask yourself how it made you feel; think of a time when you went through this process; consider the actions you took and how you feel toward those…

Mistakes and failure are part of the process; always will be.

It’s learning from failure and mistakes that matters, and we learn how we can do exactly that in the third and final installment of this series 👇👇

hi, i’m turndog and I wrote this article … i am a writer, ghostwriter, anti-hustler & a guy on a mission to ensure you too escape the hustle — come be part of the [no hustle] movement

hi, i’m turndog and I wrote this article … i am a writer, ghostwriter, anti-hustler & a guy on a mission to ensure you too escape the hustle — come be part of the [no hustle] movement